At my age, I don't dare make predictions for a whole new decade, but I shall humbly wave my wand for the coming year:

 1) Jeff Koons announces plans to build his hanging choo-choo train at the new Pinchuk Museum space in Kiev.

2) NEA Chairman Rocco Landesman debuts a grants program for artbloggers to "get the word out about American culture."

3) Bloomberg LLP announces that it will fund the entire cost of constructing the new Meat Market Whitney Museum in return for moving its headquarters into the Whitney's uptown Marcel Breuer building.

4) Damien Hirst comes out of the closet and marries Banksy.

5) The Metropolitan Museum launches the Thomas Hoving Memorial Lectures in Curatorial Studies.

6) Meryl Streep agrees to star in Cindy Sherman biopic directed by Kathryn Bigelow.

7) Matthew Barney and the Black Entertainment Network announce plans to construct a Museum of African American Art (known as MAFA) in Detroit.

 8) CUNY students seize the High Line for 48 hours to protest tuition hikes and budget cuts by Governor Paterson.

9) The Museum of Modern Art announces plans for a show called "Strongman: The films of Arnold Schwarzenegger," featuring Conan and Terminator props from the retiring California governor's office.

10) Guggenheim czar Richard Armstrong reveals plans to star in a soft-core porn epic with Andrea Fraser.

11) Peter Schjeldahl retires to a fellowship at CalArts and Jerry Saltz becomes art critic for the New Yorker.

CHARLIE FINCH is co-author of Most Art Sucks: Five Years of Coagula (Smart Art Press).