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WHO WILL BE THE NEXT LOUISE BOURGEOIS?
by Charlie Finch
 
Now that the diminutive nonagenarian trickster is spending eternity tickling Satan's anus with an iron feather in Hades, who will succeed to her rumpled plaster-of-paris throne as queen witch of the wild, wide world of art?

TRACEY EMIN 2-1
The snaggletoothed helion is the favorite, right out of the box, reminiscing for the BBC about Louise’s "dirty mind" and their putative close friendship.

CECILY BROWN 5-1
No artist, even Picasso, ever had more genuine sex appeal than Brown. Maybe marriage and motherhood will slow her down to Bourgeois status, by the time she's, say, 110.

SOPHIE CALLE 10-1
Sophie could teach Louise a thing or two about tricks, illusion and fakery, but her anonymous persona would preclude any "salons."

LORNA SIMPSON 15-1
Once you go black, you can't go back; Lorna has been a bit under the radar lately and could use some Bourgeois-style publicity.

MARINA ABRAMOVIC 25-1
You gotta be kidding, Louise wasn't talented enough to clean her toilet.

COURTNEY LOVE 50-1
The Hole honey could use a studio environment to slow down from years of alleged substance abuse and do a crossover into the ever-celebrity-hungry art universe.

MADONNA 100-1
When Madge hits menopause, anything is possible, and an over-55 edition of her erotic photo tome Sex could be as groundbreaking as the original!


CHARLIE FINCH is co-author of Most Art Sucks: Five Years of Coagula (Smart Art Press).