I am not normally one for predictions, but in bed with the flu for two weeks, I’ve got nothing better to do, so here goes.
IT WILL BE THE YEAR OF JULIAN SCHNABEL
MANY CHELSEA GALLERIES WILL CLOSE
The double edge of the High Line development means that leases come due and the transformation of Chelsea into Fifth Avenue South will move into high gear.
CONTINUED BAD ECONOMIC NEWS WILL LEAD TO LARGE GALLERY MERGERS
Such as, Matthew Marks and Barbara Gladstone, White Cube and Gagosian, Pace and Deitch Projects.
CHINESE CONTEMPORARY WILL CRASH
So much bad painting and sculpture is coming out of Tigerland that someone is bound to notice.
CECILY BROWN WILL MAKE A MOVIE STARRING HERSELF
A logical step from Schnabel. It will not be enough to be an artist; one must become an auteuse.
A HUGE AUCTION MARKET FOR VITO ACCONCI
All those pieces purchased over the years by Peter Arnell and Kenny Schachter will finally be worth something by the man the female students at Pace used to affectionately call "Mr. Stinky."
WALTER ROBINSON WILL HAVE A MUCH HERALDED SOLO PAINTING SHOW
The ‘80s art messiah reemerges from behind his editor’s pencil. You heard it here first!
MONEY LAUNDERING SCHEMES WILL TORPEDO THE RUSSIAN ART MARKET
There is a lot of bad painting floating around from the estates of recently deceased Non-Objectivist Russian artists and a lot of funny money chasing it.
PARIS WILL EMERGE AS A CONTEMPORARY ART CENTER FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 75 YEARS
Can you spell Pinault and Sarkozy? They will be like lovers!
LONDON WILL BECOME THE CENTER OF THE AUCTION MARKET
A more logical place for international money and New York has become too tacky for high culture.
THE U.S. GOVERNMENT MAY OPEN AN INQUIRY INTO SOTHEBY’S STOCK MANIPULATION
Sources tell me this has already happened.
AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST. . . JEFFREY DEITCH WILL GET MARRIED
Send photos and resumes for wedding costumes to Deitch Projects.
CHARLIE FINCH is co-author of Most Art Sucks: Five Years of Coagula (Smart Art Press).