BELOVED
Thanks to museum-superior exhibitions of Picasso, Manzoni and, now, Monet, Larry Gagosian has become the most beloved figure in the art world. Snidely Whiplash has transformed into Little Nell.

DEITCH AGONISTES
In contrast, as indicated by his recent Guggenheim Museum speech and viral video meltdown at his Shepard Fairey opening, Jeffrey Deitch is the poster boy for art-world stress, claiming at the Goog, for example, that he influenced Lady Gaga. Here’s wishing lots of Malibu beach massages and delicious daiquiris for the tight titan.

HERE COMES THE JUDGE
Federal district judge William Pauley took the unusual step in denying Craig Robins a preliminary injunction in the Robins v. Zwirner case regarding the purported Marlene Dumas blacklist, lambasting the art world for its "self-importance," "betrayals" and all-around Byzantine intrigue, warning Robins with two Latin words, "caveat emptor."

THE PRACTICE
The lame idea of "art practice" gains currency as MoMA P.S. 1 czar Klaus Biesenbach uses the term and more and more institutions are giving degrees in the new "art practice" discipline. Now you don’t even have to go to Carnegie Hall (or even exhibit); just stay in the studio and "practice, practice, practice."

WHERE ARE THE GREAT WOMAN AUCTION PERFORMERS?
If a lame Christopher Wool word painting can go for millions, then what about a historically significant Barbara Kruger ad rant from the 1980s? Or some lyrical Jenny Holzers? Or early commercial satires by Karen Kilimnik? Time for Linda Nochlin to remount the ramparts

THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING, ETC.
Like Slavic Clint Eastwoods, the Russkies are buying basketball teams and building eccentric museums and purchasing purple Warhols (who else can afford them?). The only thing more obvious than their rubles are their cheap suits and cheaper hookers.

A FAIR IS A SHOW IS A BIENNIAL
Why go to another art world group grope when you can just cruise the flea markets on Saturday like Stuart Pivar and Andy Warhol. Like their cookie jars and knickknacks, most of the art ends up back in the closet, as well.

MADAM, I’M ADAM
Adam Weinberg of the Whitney is doing everything short of arson to unload the unloved Marcel Breuer building. How about leasing it to Zabar’s?

KUO VADIS
Michelle Kuo is the new editor of Artforum. No one knows anything about her. Hence, she is next season’s hot commodity. See you over at Gagosian, Michelle.