Dear Mark,
I am about to have my first New York show in a Chelsea gallery. An art magazine approached me and said that they wanted to publish an article about my show but they said that their policy required that the gallery take out an ad and they asked me to contact the gallery to request this. What should I do?

In the United States if an art magazine blatantly asks an artist to help pay for a review it's a dead giveaway that they are novices without much circulation. In Italy the big magazines can get away with the direct approach because the Italians have so much style and the offers are always accompanied with the finest pasta, artichokes or mozzarella di bufala. Plus they're not so crass to ask the artist for cash directly. They love art -- they want paintings.

I recently gave five paintings to a major Italian art magazine for a cover story. In the interview, which I had total control in writing, I specifically praised my favorite Italian dealers. After publication all the dealers came ringing the bell at my Camio de' Fiori studio and cheerfully bought twice as many paintings than usual. Afterwards I paid for the pasta.

Dear Mark,
I worry about rogue curators and fugitive art dealers. Somebody asked me to contribute to another group show but I am paranoid now because I don't always get the work back. (Particularly small paintings, and video, where sometimes they send a beat copy instead of the original.)

A bigger problem for some artist friends of mine has been when their beloved old art dealer suddenly leaves town in the middle of the night with all their work and all their money, leaving them holding the bag for their bad debts and shipping expenses.

I was wondering, has this happened to you and, if so, what did you do about it? And, lastly, if all else fails, what is the best method for extracting revenge and spoiling the lives and happiness of your enemies for generations? How about some practical Kostabi pointers for beginners? Truman Capote said "Anybody who says they haven't fantasized about murder is a God Damn liar. What's the next best thing?

I've been ripped off by dealers many times -- but not anymore. I learned years ago not to rely on even the most prestigious dealers.

The most common violation to artists is "the nightmare of consignment."

Basically, many dealers bite off more than they can chew and get into debt. They foolishly believe that it's okay to pay the artist last and use the artist's money to pay the rent, which allows them to "keep the gallery open" and get into further debt. It would be more intelligent to pay the artist first (that's where the collector would want the money to go when an artwork is purchased) and if they don't have enough left to pay the rent: close the gallery and start over with a more sober plan.

For artists, the best way to avoid getting ripped off by dealers is to stay in touch with other artists about who's trustworthy. I do this frequently. For example, a dealer recently asked me to do a special project, gratis, and mentioned the name of several other established artists who had participated in the past. Two of them happened to be my friends who I immediately called for advice. One said the dealer was a "jerk" the other said "megalomaniac." Guess what. No special project. Cash and carry only.

In the beginning however, it's hard to demand full payment up front, and most of us are obliged to play the consignment game for a while. When you do get ripped off (and you will), call the dealer's mother to complain. This usually embarrasses the misbehaving merchant to cough up the cash.

Frequently dealers will sell your consigned work and not tell you until you ask for the work back and when you do you might hear them say that they are "very close to closing a deal on the pieces" and they only "need a few more weeks." In one instance this went on with me for years until finally I ran out of patience and sternly demanded the return of the works, at which point the dealer told me how embarrassed and sorry he was for "misinforming me" because he had sold the works years ago and not told me or paid me. Now I call his father every two weeks and get occasional little payments toward the debt.

Hi Mark,
I love your advice but some of it is unreasonable. You say artists should move to New York and do the circuit, invite people to lunch, go to openings and such. That is out of the question for artists such as myself. I have children, dogs, horses and even an abandoned baby opossum the kids found last week to care for.

Besides the thought of spending my hard earned money taking some vermin out to lunch makes my stomach churn. I looked up some of the artists that you mentioned and to be honest I did not care for their artwork so I can not imagine being fake and saying how wonderful they are.

Monthly I sell about $5,000 worth of art via the net and do have a instantly recognizable style. What advice would you give me in terms of "making it big" in the art world. I also have an online gallery.

I would also like information on applying for a museum show. How does one go about it?

It's true that there are "vermin" in New York, as there probably are where you live too. Just try to keep a positive attitude and watch where you step. Go out to lunch with the many decent people and the artists whom you sincerely admire in New York. If you don't like those whom I praise -- choose your own favorites. Surely you don't think that you're superior to all New York artists.

It's impressive that you sell $5,000 worth of your art every month through the Internet. You are another example of the potential for independence from the old system for all artists.

As for getting museum shows, from my experience it's similar to getting gallery shows: social interaction and follow-up correspondence with curators.

Dear Mark,
I'm building a web page for a friend. He has sent a piece (acrylic on paper) to Dr. Penza as a thank you for the Rothkos Dr. Penza donated to MOCA. My question is: would it be wrong (he thinks it would be) to say on his web page (next to the photo) that this piece is in the collection of Dr. Penza?

My friend is a moralist. I'm in business and I don't see one thing wrong with this. He sent it express mail to MOCA and someone signed for it but Penza never acknowledged he received it, and it was never returned, either. We decided to let you be the final arbiter on this matter.

But your letter does raise an interesting point about "padding" one's resume. There's a wonderful moment in one of my favorite movies, Ed Wood, when the optimistic auteur's first film gets totally panned by the critics except for one tiny little phrase which said the costumes were good. Ed enthusiastically focuses only on this one glimmer of positivity and gloriously blows it up in the promotional advertising. I totally approve. Enthusiastic advertising is one thing -- false advertising is another.

I have a client who is all about hype. Every so often he shows up with an attaché case full of cash, which he uses to buy a hundred paintings or so. He also likes to show off his press kit. Years ago the New York Times featured him for one of his novel marketing ideas. The AP picked up the story and it ended up in newspapers throughout the country. So his press kit is almost a half-inch thick even though it's all basically the same article appearing in different newspapers.

Upon closer inspection I discovered that halfway through the stack was the exact same New York Times piece, with the same date, and then all the exact same articles followed. He was banking on the fact that many people don't bother reading for detail and padding and are impressed by size alone. I don't approve. It's good to portray yourself in the best possible light -- just don't lie or mislead.

Dear Mark,
I love that advice; be in New York, hang out with Inka. Inka is going to have quite a crowd around her. You are such a tease. Go ahead, bite the Big Apple, never mind the maggots. I can't help but think of Ansel Adams, who would cart his ass and his 8 by 10 way the hell out there. And take along his beloved tea so that he could sit there and brew a cup while waiting for that moment. That magic moment. Just think, Adams is so much more famous than Inka, if he was still alive, you would have to advise Inka to go out to Yosemite and hang with him. Your reactions?

Your image of Ansel Adams as a nonsocial, lone visionary in Yosemite is not accurate. He worked as a commercial photographer for 30 years and found plenty of time to schmooze with Paul Strand, Edward Weston, Alfred Stieglitz, Georgia O'Keeffe, President Ford and President Reagan, in urban centers like New York, San Francisco and Washington, D.C.

Hi Mark,
The Artnet Magazine column you do is the best thing happening on the internet right now for artists -- period. The information is an invaluable resource for anyone wanting to become rich and famous like yourself! Because of your column I've started my web page at AbstractArtist.com (Shameless plug) and am getting ready for some serious eBay selling. You lit the fire -- my friend and I totally appreciate it!

Although I do plan on selling artwork on the internet, I'm also hoping for gallery representation. What sort of contracts should I avoid? And also, does, by signing a contract, prohibit an artist from selling work on eBay? Or does that just depend on the type of contract? Thanks for kicking ass.

Since I started selling my work on eBay and Artnet, ironically, despite the apparent conflict of interest, my relationships with dealers have only improved -- perhaps because now I have the confidence to say "no" to the dealers who give me stress. A few dealers have dropped out of the Kostabi army on the grounds that I'm underselling them -- but I keep recruiting more and more, new and better ones.

The whiners fall by the wayside while the winners buy with an eye for quality, knowing that their works are one-of-a-kind originals, available only from them -- no matter what pops up in an online auction.

Beware of the self-serving dealers who wrongly advise you that if you make too much work and show in too many places you'll spread yourself thin and flood the market.

Even the celebrated, anti-establishment art critic Dave Hickey, in his much ballyhooed book, Air Guitar, misguidingly proclaims: "As any dealer will tell you, it is perfectly possible for any artist with decent work habits to produce more work in three or four years than there are buyers worldwide who might possibly acquire them, ever. The pool of probable purchasers is even tinier."

Well that's just baloney. There are millions of people out there eager to part with their money for good art. If you don't take their money, someone else will.

Dear Mark,
I am distraught. How do you handle the situation when someone has copied your work? In my case, it's a family member (in-law), a 10-year potter who stole the painting technique and design scheme I developed and have been using to decorate porcelain plates.

I'm self-taught, producing for about three years now. I have sold quite a bit -- in shops and small galleries, privately, and at local shows. "Unique" is the comment I most often hear, with the follow-up question, "How do you do this?"

Now, this relative of mine has switched from the plain pottery bowls and jugs she had been making for years and is making pottery plates, decorating them with my painting technique and design patterns, and displaying them as I do, on stands. We are both just starting out, doing local art shows.

Last year, before this relative started copying my work, we both exhibited at the same show -- I, my plates -- the relative, her bowls and jugs. I sold several pieces at that show and my relative sold none. I think that may be the motivation for her imitating my work -- that, and she really likes it.

I'm just sick about this. And angry. The whole experience has somehow sullied the joy I have found in my work. What can I do?

Mark,
Don't exactly agree with you about hiring professionals to produce slides. I guess you get what you pay for.

Recently my in-house art documentation photographer, who is just as good as you and was making $12 an hour, asked for a raise -- to $15 an hour. I said no. He quit. Then suddenly I needed 150 paintings photographed in a crunch, before an urgent shipment to Italy. I needed four 4 by 5s and six 35 mm slides each of all 150 paintings.

My brother, Paul Kostabi, who helps me run my studio, rolled up his sleeves, got out the old black film-changing bag (with two sets of zippers), cranked up Madonna's new album and did the job himself in two days. The photos came out just as good as yours. Could you have done it in two days? According to your current price list you would have charged $21,600 (unless you charge more for rush jobs -- which is another reason artists should learn how to do it themselves). It cost me a total of $3,700 (including film, developing and shooting time). I paid one sixth of what you would have charged.

If I only wanted one of each -- I would pay less than one tenth of your price. It costs well under $5 each to create a good 4 by 5 but you charge $55. I'm not trying to put you out of business -- I'm trying to put artists in business. The only reason you got away with charging so much in the past was that Mark Kostabi wasn't here yet to shine the Tota-light of simplicity on the truth: Art documentation photography is production work. Once you've taken your light reading it's a simple, repetitive process, like working a Xerox machine.

Dear Mark,
How can I find out when and where the gallery openings are in New York?