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    Season's Greetings
by Charlie Finch
Micha Klein
Artificial Beauty: Angie
Edward Ruscha
Bridget Riley
Cataract 3
Everyone's waiting on Damien Hirst --
His first show here in four years,
New heights or his wurst?
And Mary Boone opens with glam Micha Klein
Does she just want to kiss-kiss with "Styles of the Times?"
Artists whack critics in a show at White Box
(Will tiny Tom Sachs give up wearing sox?)
Ol' wily Jack Tilton survives in Soho
with hot Chinese artists and a sprite named Nicole.
Two dozen shows are scheduled at Deitch
(His assistant, Koji, will be double-taxed twice!)
And if the strike isn't settled
by management morons at MoMA,
a great '60s show will debut in a coma.
The great museum shows are outside of New York:
Ed Ruscha at the Hirshhorn
Warhol at the Corc.
An old British buzzard, so wiry and wily
Psychedelicizes Dia
Her name's Bridget Riley
Who hasn't actually painted in 35 years,
(from Kelly, Noland, Gene Davis she steals her ideas).
Although it's hotter than hot to be the old shrew
a poor critic wonders, "Exactly what does she do?"
So hail the hundreds of galleries in Chelsea
Smooch new art school graduates named Christy and Kelsey
There's so much excitement seems nothing could bor'em
Except the new issue of boring Artforum
May your season be prosperous
Your creativity fine
And always remember
Do your collecting online.

CHARLIE FINCH is co-author of Most Art Sucks: Five Years of Coagula (1998).