They say that Louise is not half bad,
Drawing spiders crawling up her windowpane.
Her mother said, "You're not that kind of girl,"
But she obsessed on her mother just the same.
Her mother wore expensive Parisian perfume:
"Come here and smell me, Louise, if you dare.
Even though it's your 90th birthday,
Come here Louise, and let me braid your hair."
Yes, the spiders are spinning hard tonight,
So good night, Louise, good night.
A spider's just a large vaggie dentate
Enveloping Rock Center in its veins
You'd never know arachnids were the symbol
Of agility, efficiency, and brains.
Another Bourgeois eyesore sees the light --
(ugh!) Good night, Louise, good night.
CHARLIE FINCH is co-author of Most Art Sucks: Five Years of Coagula (Smart Art Press).