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    Mr. Kitsch
by Charlie Finch
Maurice de Vlaminck
The Bar
They call him Mr. Kitsch,
he used to be a bitch,
his name is Robert Rosenblum,
he acts like Ritchie Rich,
flying to the Bellagio,
supping at the Tate:
don't forget the goody bag
of bad art on the make --
once a great historian,
the soul and pride of Princeton --
his expertise in Cubism
turned into schlocky mincin'

You've seen the kitsch apartment
with owls stuffed under glass,
tapestries, and Grecian nudes
that border on the crass:
they've moved it to the Guggenheim
filled Frank Lloyd Wright with farts
that Rosenblum calls special taste
if he bothers to defend it --
legitimizing objet d'art:
once you start
you never end it.

CHARLIE FINCH is coauthor of Most Art Sucks: Five Years of Coagula (1998).